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    In conversation with medical student Oceane Eichle In conversation with medical student Oceane Eichler... "Regardless of what anyone says, if you want to study medicine, then do it for yourself; it doesn’t matter where you come from or if you are not a straight-A student. Yes, you have to have decent grades, but if you have passion, nothing can stop you at the end of the day. NEVER doubt yourself." More on Cosmocreole.
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T&C follow @cosmocreole & @fiykreolbeauty . Like this post and tag two friends. Competition open to Seychelles resident  and a winner will be picked at random. Competition ends on 30th May at midnight. Good luck!
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    Meet Dominique, the face behind Fiy Kreol, an onli Meet Dominique, the face behind Fiy Kreol, an online Beauty Shop based in Seychelles. " Fiy Kreol is the first business idea I have decided to pursue. Like many other new businesses in Seychelles, the idea for Fiy Kreol came about during the pandemic. The reasons why I thought of starting Fiy Kreol were; that many online stores had stopped shipping to Seychelles at that time and have not resumed international shipping to date..." Read Dominique's story on Cosmocreole. 
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    Natasha Chetty, 22, is a double gold medallist at Natasha Chetty, 22,  is a double gold medallist at the last Indian Ocean Islands Games (IOIG) in Mauritius in 2019 and now competes for the University of Nevada, Reno, USA. She shares her journey from Seychelles to Nevada with Cosmocreole.Link in the bio. "The journey is not going to be easy. You're going to meet people who will leave you along the way, and you're going to have setbacks, obstacles, challenges and tough choices to make. Some days you're not going to be able to give your best, and it's okay not to be the best every single day. Some days you might feel like you want to give up or even doubt yourself. You will experience all sorts of criticism, people who'd look down on you, people who doubt you, and people who don't want to see you win. But these are the challenges you face along the way that build you and prepare you to achieve what you've been working for. So don't ever stop working towards your goal!" Natasha Chetty
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    To all mothers, we hear and see you: To the moth To all mothers, we hear and  see you:

To the mothers of neurodiverse children, we salute you for fighting, paving the way for your children even though no one has paved the way for you.

To the mothers who have lost a child, you are heartbroken, but the way you move forward in grief is humbling and inspiring.

To the mothers of differently-abled children, tiredness is your life but you do not give up. We see your love.

To the mothers of adopted children, you are brave —giving them a home, being there—loving them.

To the mothers doing it alone, your determination is noted—you are stronger than you think.

We hope we raise children who understand  that their mothers are flawed but we try our best.

Happy mother's day to all the wonderful mothers and mothers to be. 🥰

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    Elaine Desnousse, was born with a medical conditio Elaine Desnousse, was born with a medical condition called Bronchiectasis, diagnosed when she was 14. Living with Bronchiectasis can be stressful and frustrating; whilst most people with the condition have a normal life expectancy, for people with very severe symptoms, however, Bronchiectasis can be fatal if the lungs stop working properly. Elaine needs a double lung transplant. Read Elaine’s story on Cosmocreole.
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    Dear Mothers, To the mothers of neurodiverse chil Dear Mothers,

To the mothers of neurodiverse children, we salute you for fighting, paving the way for your children even though no one has paved the way for you.

To the mothers who have lost a child, you are heartbroken, but the way you move forward in grief is humbling and inspiring.

To the mothers of differently-abled children, tiredness is your life but you do not give up. We see your love.

To the mothers of adopted children, you are brave —giving them a home, being there—loving them.

To the mothers doing it alone, your determination is noted—you are stronger than you think.

To all mothers, we are unique—accommodating and fiercely protective women because of motherhood. However, never forget that as mothers we do not hold our children back but instead, allow them to feel safe enough to wander independently if they can and explore the wonders of life —the good, the bad, and the ugly!

Mother's are flawed but we try our best.

Happy mother's day to all the wonderful mothers and mothers to be. 

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    This year, for me, the celebration of women is a b This year, for me, the celebration of women is a bittersweet one. As a woman, wife and mother, I am heartbroken for the millions of families in Ukraine being affected by the war. So, this International Women’s Day, let us acknowledge the courage and determination of the extraordinary women facing the conflict.

From the women fleeing the violence to keep their families safe to those on the front lines or bringing us their stories on the ground as journalists, to the leaders managing the crisis. These women are playing an important role in this crisis, and we salute them this International Women’s Day.

We've compiled a small ebook, a reminder of the strength, wisdom  and determination  of some Seychellois women. You can download from our website. Link in the bio.

Happy Women’s Day 

Jini

#women #BreakTheBias #IWD2022 #seychelloise. #seychelles
    The New African magazine publishes an annual lis The New African magazine publishes an annual listing of the 100 Most Influential Africans to celebrate Africanness. Seychelles’ environmental lawyer Angelique Pouponneau made it on the top 100 African Changemakers list. There are six categories: Leaders, Entrepreneurs, Changemakers, Opinion Shapers, Creatives and Sportspeople. Congratulations to Angelique. Read more on Cosmocreole. 
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My Story of Multiple Miscarriages- Fran Ah-Men

10 May 2021 · In: Family, Features, Health, Her Story, Inspirational Life, Relationships

Miscarriage- The Fragility of Pregnancy

Losing a baby, whether through miscarriage or stillbirth, is something women may carry with them all their lives. Even though miscarriages and stillbirths are the most common reasons for losing babies during pregnancy, many women still suffer in silence because the subject remains taboo, making it too uncomfortable for them to share their feelings out of fear of burdening others with their pain. Fran Ah-Mane talks about her losses — three miscarriages. Fran explains how having multiple miscarriages made it hard to enjoy her pregnancies and how it was a mental struggle. This is Fran’s story.

I did not realise that having children was something I couldn’t control

My husband and I live in Malaysia where we juggle our studies and caring for our two young children. Before pursuing our specialist training, we both worked at the Seychelles Hospital. Having come from a nuclear family, my concept of what ‘success’ meant was the whole picture-perfect house, white picket fence, a husband, a dog, and three happy kids, and so most of my life decisions were made with the intent to achieve that. I’ve gone through life very much in control of situations: I’ve studied, I’ve worked, I’ve filtered out incompatible partners, but not once did I realise that having children was something I couldn’t control. Having fertility problems and miscarriages were never in the plan, meaning I never prepared myself for them. My husband and I had been together for many years when we got married and didn’t see any reason to wait before trying to conceive. I had the puzzle pieces of the stereotypical family that we both wanted and we thought I’d get pregnant without difficulty.

When you try for as long as we did, you forget that pregnancy is 9 months long

As the months of ‘failing’ turned into years, we began getting a bit distressed due to the difficulty we were facing. That’s when we had the first of our three miscarriages. The first was what’s known as a chemical pregnancy. It’s when your home pregnancy test turns out strongly positive, but unfortunately you don’t make it to the ultrasound for confirmation. We miscarried at what I estimate to be five weeks. I was devastated. When you try for as long as we did, you forget that pregnancy is nine months long. You just presume the double line on a pregnancy test is confirmation you’re having a baby, but it isn’t. So many things can go wrong, and it was deeply saddening to lose the pregnancy we’d waited so long to have. I remained hopeful at that point, knowing that miscarriage is commonplace and that a quarter of women have experienced a miscarriage at some point in their life. I didn’t feel too bad about the first — I called it ‘the false start’ because it was a relief to know we could get pregnant.

The real nightmare came with the second positive test a few months later. Seeing the double line, I stopped myself from being too optimistic. Instead, I waited until the scan and was elated when it was confirmed. Yes, I was officially pregnant. The three weeks which followed were some of the worst weeks of my life. I had constant bleeding, I was extremely worried, and even if all the medical professionals told me it was just ‘implantation bleeding’ I knew something wasn’t right. It was after having celebrated the baptism of my friend’s baby that we went home and… what happened next I can only describe as ‘everything just slipped out.’ I couldn’t believe my baby was just a bloody mass on the bathroom floor.

I could see the pity in their eyes, not just that night but for months later

My husband, in utter denial, took me to the hospital where it was confirmed that we had miscarried at 10 weeks. I was admitted for dilation and curettage (D&C), a procedure to remove tissue from inside the uterus. This was the miscarriage that broke me. I felt ashamed and defective for not being able to do what everyone else could. What was worse, the hospital where I was admitted was my workplace, so the nurses and doctors were my colleagues, some were very close friends. I could see the pity in their eyes, not just that night but for months later. Being faced with people every day after at my workplace who knew my intimate loss was hard. I had to go back to work the very next Monday as a D&C is considered a minor procedure that doesn’t mandate any length of sick leave. It was difficult walking into the lab knowing that some of these very people were working the night that my blood work and diagnosis were sent.

I went through a very dark time for months, and even though we fell pregnant immediately after the procedure it was very difficult to bond with my pregnancy or enjoy being pregnant. I was terrified of another miscarriage, I was wrought with anxiety and I don’t think I ever recovered from the trauma of the second miscarriage. I did give birth to a healthy baby.

My third miscarriage occurred in early 2020 while attempting to conceive our second child. It was another chemical pregnancy and a lot of the feelings I thought I had addressed resurfaced. However, very soon after we conceived our second child and, again, I didn’t feel very connected to the baby during the pregnancy because of fear and anxiety of another miscarriage.

My mental health took a turn for the worse

A lot of people want to hear the ‘rainbow after the storm’ type of thing where I say that after having my children everything was alright. Sadly, that isn’t the case for me, and I don’t think it’s the case for many women who experienced a miscarriage, let alone multiple miscarriages. My mental health took a turn for the worse from it all. I hold deep resentment and anger towards people who I feel should have been supportive but weren’t. Instead of being the happy person I once was, I became more introverted and depressed. I never sought therapy for it, and it was never offered. There was never a review or check-up after the D&C to see how I was doing mentally and emotionally, and a lot of the unaddressed trauma has left me a more pessimistic, anxious person.

It was a relief to know that I wasn’t alone

I never told anyone what happened because I felt ashamed, and I didn’t want to dampen anyone else’s mood with such a sad topic. Then a friend invited me to lunch. We’d been friends since we were teens and she knew right away I was off, and asked if I was okay. I told her what had happened. It felt good to have said it, and it felt so much better when she said she’d gone through a miscarriage herself. It was a relief to know that I wasn’t alone. I had someone who understood what I was going through, truly understood, and that feeling of not being alone and being understood was very comforting. What I found hardest was facing people at work. The privilege of experiencing my loss privately was taken away from me because I was a health care worker. People don’t realise that health workers don’t get much in the form of patient confidentiality.

It felt like our pain was an inconvenience to others

There was the general insensitive ‘you’re young you will get pregnant eventually’ unsolicited comments. But those weren’t the worst. The worst when I overheard a conversation that my husband had with a family member. I realised I had leaned on him throughout it but he had lost a child as well and he was seeking support and comfort. Sadly the conversation steered away from us as a couple suffering from the loss of our child to a conversation about another pregnant family member and a pregnancy issue she was having (seeking advice because my husband worked in obstetrics). I don’t even know how to express what I felt when this happened. Here was my husband expressing the loss of his child, looking for support only to be told ‘well there’s nothing we can do about it’ and then having someone else’s pregnancy thrown in his face because he worked in obstetrics. It just solidified to me that our pain was an inconvenience to others and this made me even more reluctant to open up about the pain and anxiety I was having.

When I was pregnant with my first child, my husband sent me Mother’s Day flowers at my work. One colleague commented that I wasn’t a mother yet, and I guess that also would come into some of the most insensitive things people say out of jest. I was a mother, I was also a mother to the child I was carrying and some people who miscarry feel they are the mother to a child in heaven.

We need to make a space for women to connect and share their pregnancy loss

We need to make room for women to discuss miscarriage and the mental health issues that come with it. I don’t think women prefer to stay silent. I think miscarriage is taboo and there is nowhere to speak about it. I’ve always felt disheartened that there was never a follow-up assessment after my miscarriage to assess my mental wellbeing. It was left up to me to seek it, and I can tell you from my experience as someone who struggled I didn’t have the strength or motivation to seek the care I so desperately needed. I still have some lingering issues because of it.

We need to make a space for women to connect and share their pregnancy loss as well as get the necessary support and therapy. Some women go through a mourning period after a miscarriage, especially miscarrying late in pregnancy, and that support is important.

Based on my experience, I know that pregnancy after a pregnancy loss is very hard to go through. Whatever you are feeling is valid, and if you feel you’re not able to enjoy the pregnancy, you are always anxious, then talking to someone will help.

My mother told me about her losses. Talking about pregnancy loss was never taboo in my family, so when my children are old enough I’ll talk about my losses to them. I don’t want my children to feel ashamed about it, and I want to raise them to be compassionate and supportive about the topic so if ever they or someone they know goes through it, then they’ll understand to just be there and help the person however the person needs to be helped.

I hope that by sharing my story, people will learn to be more sensitive towards women as well as men who have experienced pregnancy loss. To be aware that a few of their friends are probably going through it right now, so be open, be a space where these people can seek comfort and support. I also want women to know they’re not alone, and that a lot of the happy moms with kids you see today have gone through what you’re going through.

If you’re aware of a professional service that provides advice and support for miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn death, please leave a message via our website or Facebook page, so we can share the information with our readers.

· In: Family, Features, Health, Her Story, Inspirational Life, Relationships

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