May is the month most parts of the world celebrate mother’s day, and this month I reflect on my motherhood journey. Our story of motherhood is both about how we were cared for, how we will care for our children, and how we cared for them. My mother fully embraced her calling as a mother and so have I— because of her, I know in the hard moments, and in the very best of moments, that there is no better mother for my children than ME. She was not perfect, I am not a perfect mother but I learnt from the best, my mother.
A few days ago I was driving my teenage children to what would be their last day at their respective schools (my son is 16 and has completed secondary school, and my daughter is 18 and has completed post Secondary ) I listened to their excitement and disbelief that it was the end of yet another chapter of their lives. My daughter saying how she is looking forward to going to university. I remember the days when they were my babies and depending on me so much. It seems like a thousand years ago and yet like yesterday. I felt proud and sad—the sadness, realising my children will not need me as much as they used to. As mothers, we practice both creating connections and letting go from the day our children are born, and yet letting go and seeing them change before our eyes scare us.
To all mothers, I hear and I see you: crying because you are tired but love your children; wondering what it means to let go and hang on while still being yourself; asking, “Where did the years go?” as you worked hard to get them where they need to be at every stage of their being.
To the mothers of neurodiverse children, I salute you for fighting, paving the way for your children even though no one has paved the way for you.
To the mothers who have lost a child, you are heartbroken, but the way you move forward in grief is humbling and inspiring.
To the mothers of differently-abled children, tiredness is your life but you do not give up. I see your love.
To the mothers of adopted children, you are brave —giving a home, being there—loving them.
To the mothers doing it alone, your determination is noted—you are stronger than you think.
To all mothers, we are unique—accommodating and fiercely protective women because of motherhood. However, never forget that as mothers we do not hold our children back but instead, allow them to feel safe enough to wander independently and explore the wonders of life —the good, the bad, and the ugly!
I share your hope — I hope they learn that disappointments are fleeting, and so are triumphs but what’s important is that they have a mother who loves them so neither one matters because we are not keeping score.
I hope we raise children who realise that life is unfair but that doesn’t mean giving up on it.
I hope we raise children who relish life’s tiny pleasures— who are open-minded and curious about the world without being reckless.
I hope we raise children who realise that their parents are flawed and we try our best. I hope for all of these things— but I also hope you are with me when I say ” nothing can beat nurturing another being no matter how they came into your life.”
Happy day to all the wonderful mothers and mothers to be.
