“There are times when communication with Jaden feels like an ocean, vast and sometimes difficult to navigate.”
A mother’s Challenges of raising a neurodivergent child by J Gilbert-Finnigan
Samantha Cupidon is one of the calmnest person I have ever met. We opted to meet at the little Cafe, Ma Boulangerie, in Victoria, Seychelles, to discuss a writing project she is working on. I had never met her, so I didn’t know what she looked like. As I entered the cafe, she greeted me with the biggest smile, and there was a calmness about her that invited ease.
“Can I give you a hug?” she asked. Nobody has ever asked me for permission before hugging me. In Seychellois culture, we just lean in for an embrace or kiss on the cheeks, but Samantha is different; as a mother to a boy with a neurodivergent condition, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Jaden, asking for permission before giving a hug is a norm for her. She treated me to coffee and croissants, and we talked about her project, family, and aspirations. There was this quiet strength in how she held herself — her smile was subtle but genuine, and I felt comfortable in her presence. I became interested in her and Jaden’s story. I wanted to know more because I thought her story was worth sharing.
For Samantha, mother of two boys, 18-year-old James and 8-year-old Jaden, raising an autistic child has been a journey full of profound learning, emotional challenges, and unexpected joys, she told me. Jaden was diagnosed with autism around the age of two. From birth to two years old, Jaden reached all his milestones like any child, but Samantha noticed that at around two and a half years, Jaden started to regress. She noticed that he was agitated by many things around him and was not communicating. It was at this point that Samantha decided to seek medical opinions.
“From the moment I first understood that Jaden’s behaviour and development might be different from what I had expected, I began navigating an unfamiliar world that demanded a balance between advocacy, patience, and unconditional love. But as I reflect on the past eight years, I’ve come to see how this experience has reshaped my view of life, learning, and what it means to be truly present for my child.”
“When Jaden was first diagnosed, there was an overwhelming sense of uncertainty. The initial shock was not so much about the diagnosis itself but about the future—what it would mean for my child’s independence, social life, education, and even his happiness. I found myself reading articles but I was a bit reluctant to speak to other parents who had walked the same path.”
For Samantha there were many moments of fear, uncertainty, and self-doubt—wondering if she was going to be good enough, if she was equipped to handle the challenges that lay ahead. Indeed, she faced many challenges; mainstream education would not take Jaden in because he needed additional help and was not potty trained. She asked for help from the Ministry of Education, which assessed Jaden and agreed that he needed a carer at school, but the social agency said the family was not qualified for financial assistance to employ a carer. In her desperation to get her son into education, she approached the School for Exceptional Child, but she was told that Jaden could not attend because he was neurodivergent, not disabled. Finally, after talking to her husband, Samantha decided to quit work and accompanied Jaden to school as his carer and teaching assistant. That was the only way Jaden could have an education. Life became harder than expected and she needed to make many adjustments.
“But through it all, I also discovered something incredible: the deep and sometimes overwhelming bond between a mother and her child. There are times when communication with Jaden feels like an ocean, vast and sometimes difficult to navigate, but we still manage to connect—often in ways that surprise me. I’ve learned that Jaden experiences the world in a way that is so different from my own, but that doesn’t make his experience any less valid. It simply means that as a parent, I need to be more patient, more observant, and more creative in how I interact. We invested in therapies for Jaden and courses for myself. I needed to educate myself about my child’s neurodivergent condition.
“One of the biggest challenges I face daily is finding ways to meet my child’s needs while also balancing my own. The sensory overload, the rigid routines, the social anxieties—these are real struggles, and there are days when I feel as though I am caught in a constant state of problem-solving. It requires mental and emotional flexibility that is often exhausting. Some days, I feel like I’m in a constant negotiation: “How can I support my child without overwhelming him?” “How can I ensure he is growing but also respecting his unique needs?”
As I listened to Samantha’s story, she reminded me of the challenge of navigating a world that isn’t always kind or understanding toward neurodiversity—the teacher who did not want Jaden in her class because he is ‘hard work’, the bullying because he is different, the whispering behind their backs, and the lack of understanding and compassion toward children like Jaden.
“Watching Jaden struggle in social situations—whether it’s difficulty with eye contact, loud noises, or simply not following the unspoken social rules—can be heartbreaking. I find myself explaining to friends, family, or even strangers, advocating for Jaden’s needs. It’s tough, but I’ve learned to take pride in my role as my child’s protector and advocate,” concluded Samantha.
Samantha wishes for more help for children with ASD in government-maintained schools in Seychelles and more trained people to support them and their families.
I have interviewed many mothers of children with ASD and personally view mothers with autistic children as warriors—constantly on alert, preparing to shield their children from criticism or misunderstanding and guiding them to be independent adults in their own unique way.
